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Where a submissive partner can push boundaries and even negotiate, a slave has no power or ability to do so. It could be a sexy departure from their real lives. In the end, what a submissive man really needs from a Dom is confidence, open-mindedness, and a willingness to learn.
When you think about these kinds of relationships, you mostly consider the boundaries of the submissive party — but the dominant individual also has boundaries of their own. If so, how do you and your partner navigate this dynamic? Or it could involve giving gentle commands, or perhaps even using some light bondage.
If they are submissive too, it might be possible to take turns playing the dominant role so everyone can get what they want. Kayla Lords, the sex expert and podcast host we spoke to earlier, also emphasized the importance of talking it out:.
The power exchange that takes place involves following the rules, as with obedience, but it is done so with intention and understanding that the dominant partner is in charge of the show. Aftercare is the time after sex when the couple checks in and takes care of each other to make sure everyone feels good about everything that happened.
If your wife wants you to mop the floor or perform cunnilingus daily, you do it — or face consequences. If you are the submissive husband, you need to be able to trust that your wife will respect the boundaries you have communicated.
A chastity belt or cock cage is a device worn to prevent someone from having sex or masturbating. Like most sexual relationships, the definition of a submissive husband will vary between different couples and it has nothing to do with gender equality. Take your time. He said:.
What’s expected of a submissive husband
Using the remote control, the dom can decide when to give their sub sexual pleasure and for exactly how long — allowing them to dictate if and when the sub is permitted to cum. For example, it can begin as simply as flipping the script in terms of who initiates and takes the lead. Still, these limitations and conditions are negotiated beforehand. That said, this exchange of power is a consensual one that often begins with negotiation, discussion, and in some cases, even contracts that specify limitations for both parties beforehand.
There are lots of ways that high heels and other items of clothing can be incorporated into kinky fun:. Be empowered! Written By:. They could be naturally submissive themselves or simply prefer a vanilla relationship. Through discussion and negotiation, both people enter into this dynamic with mutual agreement and the dominant partner has the responsibility of ensuring that the submissive partner is not exploited.
Read like a local
As we mentioned earlier, this dynamic is a choice that is made following negotiation, discussion, and mutual agreement between both partners to ensure that the boundaries of each are respected. Many heterosexual men in relationships crave to be a bottom, this can be a craving for power exchange.
A study found that, of the men who participate in BDSM, Some people will never enjoy dominating their partner. Or maybe you think of the old joke: Marriage is a relationship where one is always right and the other is the husband. The result is that we both feel safe, cared for, heard, desired, satisfied, and it fosters a relationship container where you can talk about anything. our running discussion about this topic.
Many people have a BDSM relationship outside of their primary conventional relationship for this reason.
The Disscusion. If both partners have deal breakers, parting ways may be preferable to a lifetime of unhappiness together. They are equal — regardless of gender stereotypes.
In order for a slave relationship to work, the dom and slave need to have trust that their limits are in line with each other. Submission can also be desirable because it brings a change in hepace — it can allow you to let go and be in the moment.
When you picture this type of relationship in your mind, you likely envision the submissive husband being tied to the bed while getting spanked with a riding crop. As a submissive male, you can be bratty or stubborn — just to see what your dom decides to do about it.
The dom can lock their sub into one of these devices so that the sub is unable to do anything sexual without the permission of the dom — who has the key. Although the image that often comes to mind is that of a submissive wifemen often enjoy handing the reins to their partners, instead. A slave relationship can only happen after a sub has been with their dom for a very long time in order to acquire the amount of trust needed to abandon all boundaries. Take it slowly and test the waters to see what is mutually enjoyable.
Submission in marriage - shifting from husband and wife to dominant and submissive
Share This Article:. The submissive participant is willingly giving up their power and the dominant person is choosing to take it — along with the responsibility that comes with it. Just knowing your partner is wearing a cock cage under their pants while out in public can be a real turn-on.
Part of the fun is the understanding that you are both committing to a deeply unbalanced power dynamic. Essentially, the submissive is a volunteer and the slave is not — although they have consented to the role following discussion and negotiation.
If you are considering beginning a submissive husband relationship, as with all BDSM relationships, the first step is always communication. You are willingly giving up your power to the person in a position of authority, knowing you can trust them with it completely. A slave will live with their dominant partner full time and will sometimes have no life outside of their BDSM relationship. In fact, open relationships are just as satisfying as monogamous ones — and one is not inherently better than the other.
Look for a good guidebook, but avoid fictionalized s like Fifty Shades of Grey, which are not meant to be how-to guides. Whatever you say. Some couples exclusively enjoy the power dynamic in a sexual context but others incorporate it outside of the bedroom, as well. Rather than commenting at the end of an article and getting no response, we thought it would be much more empowering to create a place where you can have a running discussion about the topics that matter most to you, moderated by the authors themselves!
Every relationship is different.
A less extreme version of this would involve instructing the sub to not touch himself without permission. If not, is it something you fantasize about being part of one day? That said, there are some aspects of this type of a female-led relationship that are pretty common across the board.
Learn as much as you can. Are you currently or have you ever been engaged in a submissive husband relationship? Keep talking and listening. There really is no wrong answer when it comes to getting freaky with a vibe or a male sex toy, so let your imagination run wild!
Be willing to adjust and be flexible. Ask questions, lend your voice and get REAL responses from the author and our community. A submissive husband might be compliant in his day-to-day activities — and not just between the sheets.
But you might also find a submissive husband in mundane settings such as making dinner, serving his wife at the dining room table, and then doing all the dishes after the meal. A sub can have their hands bound together with a silk scarf or be tied to something stationary — or they might be straight-up hogtied with bondage rope. They are completely at the whim of their dominant partner — a position that relies heavily on trust.
Further, 1 in 4 men said this is something they fantasize about often. Some men feel they are better suited to subservient roles and take them on willingly. Jodi Williamsa certified sex therapist who specializes in working with members of the BDSM community, told us:. In short, different men can be drawn to submission for very different reasons.
In the case of a submissive husband, the dominant partner can insert a vibrating buttplug into their sub. He will need to show her what he wants and do his best to explain why, and will need to be patient with her while she confronts any obstacles that arise. In that way, both people are two halves of a whole.
Justin Lehmiller, author of the book Tell Me What You Wantsits on our medical review board and explained why some men choose a subservient role. There are a variety of restraint systems available, from simple wrist-cuffs to collars and leashes and even bondage boards. We encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences with us and our readers anonymously and connect with others that feel the same way! If you are the dominant wife, you need to trust that your husband will not let you push him past his limits.