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Posted by: chaamjamal on: March 15, The pre-flood and pre-coal world was marked by abundance, health, and prosperity. The average human lifespan lasted many hundreds of years, and the climate across the globe was temperate and pleasant.


About Submissions. N oah from the Bible would like to apologize for bringing the following species on the Ark:.

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The only good thing about waiting for all the far-flung animals to make their ten thousand mile journeys was it gave me time to figure out how to build the Ark. I was a farmer, and knew literally nothing about boats. The Big Guy really used to rage.

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You think getting the pandas to bang and procreate is hard now in with your videotaped panda porn and giant breeding centers, just imagine what it was like when I only had two of them. In hindsight, having just one boat for all of the species on Earth was very impractical.

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Today is a good day for comedy. Andrew J. Roughly a third of the world has it.

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God really should have saved some of His life-creating for His New Testament days. They're big, dumb, only eat one kind of plant, and are bad at reproducing.

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I had to eat some nasty, disgusting things to ingest all the parasites, and had to make some weekend trips to Sodom and Gomorrah for the venereal diseases. Long story short, it reproduces in cats and gets passed through feces and can be picked up by just about any other mammal, but particularly thrives in mice and rats, for which the parasite gets in their brains and makes them sexually aroused by the smell of cats so they run up to feral cats and get eaten to continue on the toxoplasma life cycle.

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He was in a pretty dark place for most of the Old Testament era, and it kind of shows. I did some things I am not proud of.

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The one thing I have never entered into in a big way is the breeding mechanism, mainly due to the frustrating randomness of success.


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